Undocumented Document

Friday, April 28, 2006

Today, I went to skewl as usual. Only 4 hours there. 2 hrs of tutorial and 1 hr of lecture which was dismissed 1 hour early. After that just go for my Friday prayers.

So at about 5, I collected my 'o' cert wif Sumaiyah. I noticed the school's parade flooring have changed like my skewl in Fernvale. Had time to hear Sumaiyah out. She got lots of things to say. Never heard so much for a long long time due to different environment.

She said something that triggered my perception on myself. Two things. One is I'm a pessimist when I talk to people in real life. And optimist when in blog. The other factor is the fact that I'm not humble. Hmm.. I always want to win.

Well, to clearify the issue. I think I'm the sort of person who have mood swing. Lol, like girl sia mood swing. When I write in my blog, I feel that everything that comes out is like a fresh tap of water flowing. When I talk, everything that comes out are garbage. Haha.. Really depends on the mood. If I'm happy, I won't stop blabbering and to the verge of irritation. If not, I'll shut myself up. Thinking in my head. Do what I feel like doing and ain't no one is controlling me.

As for the humble side. I remembered the person who said that I was humble was Syaheedah. After that, everything change. I change. I began more of a freaking bragger. Deceiving myself yet and yet again. Not wanting to lose an argument at any point of time. Transformed to someone I become right now.

I'm trying to change. Slowly. I do not want to brag anymore. I do not want to win anymore. Hmm, difficult to say. I wun give up something that easily. Well, maybe I should loose it when with my friends.

Later at night, went to Kampong Chai Chee Restaurant. Wah.. So full.. The place and my stomach. Eat eat eat.. At this rate, I won't be able to finish the game on time. Outta here

sH@l_iH!n@10:59 PM
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Monday, April 24, 2006

I feel that i juz haf to wait. I mean, what's the rush rite? We want the bez of the bez! Not just anyone from the sidewalk. I'm saying this because I feel my hope is fading. Nevermind. I am willing to wait.

Today, I saw her again after more than a week. Upon looking at her, it gave me mix emotions. I was all so bursting with energy for a moment there. Until... I refuse to tell in my blog.. secret. It's no fun when everyone noes bout things.

Juz like the song Rapid Hope Loss by Dashboard Confessionals now.. Haha.. Nevertherless, gives me some sort of motivation once again.. Well, I hope that I will guided by Al-Quran and sunnah Rasulluah s.a.w thru this short journey of life.

Peace outz..

Syafiq and Me.. (Juz wanted to add pics... More lively then)

sH@l_iH!n@6:20 PM
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Thursday, April 20, 2006

Life is all about patience.. In every expect that we do, we got to wait. We want to take a bus, we got to wait. We want to feel full, we got to wait. Even death, we got to wait. Even when I'm writing, I got to wait and generate ideas in my head.

Now, I'm trying to lose weight. Been 2 weekz since I started. But I know I got to wait and see the transformation in the future.

U'll see the brand new me in the next semester, HOPEFULLY. If my sheer hard work is a success.

Why am I talking about waiting all of the sudden? Well, I realise something. I realise that I got to wait. Be patient. Most importantly try. Eventually, I know that I'll be given a golden opportunity. I just have to cease the opportunity then.

Well I thought I've changed but I guess not. Change is not an immediate action. It takes process. Eventually, I'll be a stronger me than I am today.

I have a vision. A vision of what my next chapter of life is going to be. I shall not let my vision be just visions. I will make my vision my mission in life. I will fullfill it.

Moving on, I've decided to join astronomy. Well, I just like to stare at the stars. See how wonderful the world is but yet, humanity have brought about their own destructions.

Now it's becoming hotter and hotter because the ozone layer is thining. So many plastics around. Haiz..

I am not going to make false commitment like I did in my life before. If I do something, I will commit.

sH@l_iH!n@11:20 PM
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Friday, April 07, 2006

My com has been down... Damn.. Stupid monitor... It died on me.. How could it? Well, been going to my new skewl @ nyp for orientation. Disappointing.. Part of it.. U noe.. Haiz.. Sad.. Meet new people. Quite okay.. But still sad nevertheless.. I'm bored.. Damn... What's the meaning behind all this? Haiz.. Got to unravel the mystery.

The only strategy I can think in my mind is confrontational. If u noe what I mean. Haha.. SAD.

sH@l_iH!n@9:16 PM
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Sunday, April 02, 2006

HI GUYZ!! MIZ ME? I GUESS SO TOO. HMM..

TODAY I WENT FOR KOMPANG. THE USUALS. I PLAYED THE TAMBOURINE INSTEAD. I'M GETTING THE BEAT. WELL, PLAYING THE TAMBOURINE FOR ME IS NOT AS TIRING AS PLAYING THE KOMPANG BUT MY HAND HURTS NEVERTHELESS. COZ, I GOT TO KNOCK THE TAMBOURINE PERPETUALLY.

I GUESS TRYING TO BE COOL IS CRAPPY. THIS TRENDS ARE NONSENSE TO ME. WHY? BECAUSE, ULTIMATELY, BEING WHO YOU ARE THAT IS MOST IMPORTANT. NOT SAYING THAT BEING BAD IS YOU AND YOU GOT TO BE ALL BAD. CHANGE FOR THE BETTER BUT DON'T CHANGE FOR THE WORST. I GUESS, AS TEENAGERS, WE WANNA LOOK GOOD. WE WANNA SEEK ATTENTION BUT HELL. PEOPLE COME AND GO. WE DON'T WANT PEOPLE WHO WILL LOOK AT YOU WHEN YOU ARE PRETTY OR CHARMING. BUT WE WANT PEOPLE WHO WILL LOOK AT YOU EVEN YOU'RE ALL UGLY. WE MUST REMEMBER THAT EXTERNAL BEAUTY DOESN'T LAST. HOWEVER INTERNAL WILL LAST. THEREFORE, WE MUST NOT SEEK THOSE WHO ARE ONLY PRETTY OUTSIDE BUT INSIDE OUT.

WELL, IM TELLING ALL THESE BECAUSE I SAW A BUNCH OF MALAYS YESTERDAE. THOSE MAT2, MAKING A LOT OF NOISE WHICH I SERIOUSLY DOUBT IS COOL AT ALL. JUST BECAUSE YOU DRESS UP ALL NICELY FOLLOWING TRENDS IS COOL? NAH.. BEING CIVILISED IS WAY COOLER. I BELIEVE FOLLOWING TRENDS ARE UNORIGINAL. YUPZ.. PEACE OUTZ. SPEAKING OF OF WHICH, AM I A MAT? I WONDER WHAT THE EYES OF THE SOCIETY HAVE TO SAY.. BUT, IT'S A NO FOR ME.

sH@l_iH!n@5:33 PM
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